Runaway in the day
by misswildfire
Summary: After the battle with Krang, Mikey's unable to keep the negative thoughts at bay. He was useless, a screw up, and his family would be better off without him. Imagine if Mikey ran away.


The walk back to the lair was one of the quietest in history, each of the brothers lost in their own thoughts. The words his brother had said to him earlier flying around his head. _No brains, useless, they'd be better off without you. _If he was being realistic with himself, what did he really contribute to his family? He wasn't focused, fearless and dedicated like Leo, he wasn't strong like Raph who could protect their family, and he wasn't smart like Donnie who was their doctor and inventory, creating all sorts of things for them to use to keep them safe.

And what did he do? He goofs off constantly, pesters his brothers to no end and he wasn't the greatest fighter. His injuries after their battle with Krang were proof enough of that, severely bruised ribs, one that was actually broken and a small crack in his shell from when the giant brain had decided to give him a hug.

_If I was a better fighter, if I wasn't so useless, I wouldn't have gotten caught and my brothers wouldn't have had to come and rescue me. _He sighed quietly to himself as he looked around the lair. Each of his brothers had taken off to their favourite corners of the lair, each lost in their own thoughts. _Maybe they would be better off without me..._ Suppressing a yawn he decided to head to bed. His normal boundless energy gone, leaving him feeling tired, achy and numb.

Over the next few days he became increasingly more quiet and withdrawn, spending time away from his brothers with his art. He tried to seclude himself, not to be a bother to his brothers, not that any of them seemed to notice anyway, each still caught up with how the battle went. _Better off without you_. The thoughts never left him alone now, his constant companion as he tried to block them out, concentrating on his art. _They didn't notice, they don't care that you haven't been around much. They prefer it this way, able to do what they want without being constantly bothered by you. _It couldn't be true, could it? His brothers, his mates, they loved him, didn't they? _Then why haven't they noticed if they love you so much?_

Raph grabbed his towel as he wiped the sweat off his brow from his latest work out. The need to be stronger, to protect his mates had been a constant buzz for him since their fight with Krang. Taking a gulp of water, he listened, trying to hear what his mates were up to. He frowned as he realized the lair was quiet, too quiet. This time of day he could normally hear his youngest mate listening to music or watching something on TV, or even pestering him if he was bored. The last thought had the red banded terrapin frowning. When was the last time his youngest brother had bothered him during a workout session?

Spotting his youngest sibling making his way into the kitchen, Raph follows, intent on getting to the bottom of what's going on. It wasn't like his sibling, who hated being alone, not to bother at least one of them to spend time with him. Not that Raph minded spending time with the youngest, not that he would ever admit that outloud, lest it go to Mikey's head and make him heaven forbid, more annoying.

He grinned to himself at the thought. However, luck wasn't with him this day and before he could say a word to gain his youngest brothers attention, an explosion sounded, focusing everyone's attention towards the lab. Pushing his youngest brother from his mind, Raph raced towards the lab, only to find Donnie stumbling out coughing with a lot of smoke billowing around him. Thankfully it was a minor explosion that caused a lot of smoke and no one was hurt, with the exception of Donnie's pride perhaps, but it did cause Raph to fret about his purple clad brother and forget about his orange clad one for the next few days.

Leo always prided himself of being aware of his surroundings and being aware of those around him, as well as their moods. It helped him gauge any situation and find a way to deal with it. It didn't always work, especially when Raph pushed his buttons, but it allowed him to easily deal with his two youngest siblings. So it was to no surprise that Leo was aware of the shift with Mikey on their way back to the lair after their battle with Krang. He kept shooting the youngest concerned looks throughout the drive home. It wasn't like him to be so quiet, but Leo hoped it was just exhaustion caused by the fight and his injuries and he would be in a better mood in the morning.

He was wrong. It didn't happen often, but it did happen. Mikey's mood did not improve the next day. He stayed silent during Don's examination and patching of the injuries (Mikey's injuries had been deemed non life threatening the night before and other than a small patch on the crack on his shell to stop anything from getting into it on the ride home, he had been deemed okay until morning so Donnie could get some sleep). He kept watch silently, wondering if he was taking the right approach. He trusted that if something was bothering Mikey, he would go and talk to one of his brothers. While Leo secretly always hoped it was him, at this point, he would accept if Mikey talked to anyone.

The few times he did try and approach his youngest mate, he eluded him. When the orange clad turtle had his mind to it, he had the best stealth skills of all of them. What Leo, wasn't realizing was that his youngest brother was going out of his way to avoid him, believing that Leo was going to yell at him about how much of a failure he was in the fight against Krang.

While Donnie usually got caught up in his experiments and tinkering, it didn't mean he didn't care about his brothers, it just meant he was the last to realize that something was going on, most of the time. He knew that his youngest lover was quiet the night they returned to the lair, but he chalked it up to him being exhausted. They all were exhausted. The fight took a toll on them each in different ways. Donnie himself had trudged back to his lab and fallen on the cot he kept there when he needed sleep. He had intended to start upgrading their security measures, but his body simply wouldn't allow him.

Looking back, he should have realized more was going on. Mikey didn't complain on the ride home about Don checking over his injuries enough to patch him up for the night, or at his one week check up or at his two week checkup. So when Donnie noticed something was going on, you know at that point it was bad. Making a mental note to talk to Leo and Raph in the morning, he headed to bed. He wanted to be well rested and able to give his only younger brother his full attention.

As the days turned into weeks, and none of his mates noticed that he continued to withdraw into himself, Mikey began to make a plan to leave. They obviously didn't need him and were better off without him. _Liability, useless in battle._

It took him a few days to stealthy gather the supplies he needed, a few things he couldn't leave behind and some food to get him started. Finally, one night when everyone was sound asleep he decided he would leave tonight. Grabbing his backpack, he made his way to each brother, eyes hungrily drinking in their form, committing to memory every little detail. If this was the last time he wanted something to remember them by.

Pausing at the entrance of the lair one last time, he gazed at the place that had been his home for so long. He didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do but he knew this was for the best. Hesitating, his eyes shifted towards where Leo slept. If he was being honest with himself, he was hoping someone would wake and stop him. His eldest brother, always aware of his surroundings, slept peacefully though, no indication that he was waking anytime soon. Choking back a sob, he turned and left. Once he was far enough away from the lair, he began to jog at a good pace. He needed to put as much distance between himself and the lair by sunrise.

_Useless. No Brain. Better off without you. Don't need you. Don't love you. Alone. Monster. Freak. _

Thoughts swirled in his head as he continued, heading to the surface to find shelter for the day. He couldn't stay in the sewers, his brothers knew them too well. _Not that they'll be looking for me at all. _Coming upon an abandoned shed on a rooftop, he silently broke the lock and made his way inside. His breathing shallow, he slid down against the far wall, trying to stay hidden as much as he could.

Perhaps he had pushed his pace a little too much, Donnie having told him the other day at his checkup that he still wasn't able to do anything too strenuous as he was still healing, but it would be worth it in the end. They would be better off without him, he wouldn't be there to annoy them any longer, they could get their tasks done faster without him pestering them and they wouldn't need to rescue him or worry about him being the weak link when they fought. Closing his eyes, Mikey tried to ignore the throbbing in his sides and the burning in his lungs and tried to get some sleep. He needed to be able to leave as soon as the sun went down enough.

Rising with the sun was something Leo had done for such a long time that he couldn't imagine not doing it. He loved the quietness in the lair. It was still in a way it wasn't when everyone was awake. It also gave him a chance to check on his brothers without them knowing. The leader smiled softly to himself seeing Donnie in his own bed for once rather than the cot he kept in his lab. Shutting the door softly, he made his way to his remaining two siblings. Raph, snoring away on the top bunk and Mikey bed empty. He blinked, checking Mikey's bed once more.

It was empty. His youngest brother tended to like to stay up late and sleep in, so for his bed to be empty at this time of the morning was very unusual. Leo couldn't help the small swell of panic he felt rising. He knew something had been wrong with his youngest mate, but he had let it go, hadn't pursued it, had played the hands off game for once in his life and now all of his instincts were screaming at him that something was wrong.

Getting his emotions under control,he thought about it logically. During the last two weeks he had spotted the orange clad turtle hiding in some tucked away corners of the lair, working on his art. It was quite possible that he had simply lost track of time. Quickly, he searched the lair, coming up empty handed again and again with every spot that he looked, panic rising with every spot yielding no signs of his youngest brother.

_**Something was wrong. **_

The feeling filled every inch of his body, spurring him into action. He quickly woke both of his brothers, demanding to know if they had seen Mikey, if their youngest had mentioned something to them. Maybe he went for a ride on his board? The small ray of hope was quickly dashed when both confirmed that they hadn't seen Mikey since the day before.

"His bag's gone," Raph murmured, his voice filling with concern. Donnie's eyes widened before bolting to his lab, leaving his two older brothers staring at him in bewilderment. Sharing a look they followed, wondering what could have caused the tallest turtle to retreat to his lab. They found him, fingers flying over his computer, a map of New York on up the screen.

"I can track him," Don explained hastily. "I had put trackers in all of our bags in case they got lost or we were injured and separated."

"That was a really smart idea," Leo said, his eyes tracking the movement on the screens. If Mikey had his bag with him, they could use the tracker to find him and bring him home.

"Got him!" Don exclaimed, a location coming up on screen. It was on the edge of their usual area they patrolled, and by the looks of the map, his brother was topside rather than in the sewers below. It would be risky getting to him, but having their brother home safe was well worth the risk.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Raph demanded, his need to do something, vibrating off of him in waves. "Let's go bring Mikey home."

Mikey sat propped against the wall as he tried to draw air into his lungs, pain shooting from his ribs with every breath. Sleep hadn't come for him despite his exhaustion. _Heh, shouldn't have pushed myself so much,_ he thought, as another wave of pain left him gasping for breath. He definitely had made his injuries worse, probably setting back his healing time by who knows how long. _It'll be worth it. _He had kept telling himself that as the hours had slowly ticked by.

_What kind of ninja are you? You should have made it further than you did. Weak! Leo wouldn't have allowed his injuries to stop him. He would have gotten further. _ So wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't sense his brother's approach and didn't hear the door until it was halfway open. His hand dropping to his weapon at his side out of habit and instinct, his eyes blinked in confusion as he met the blue eyes of his eldest brothers, eyes he normally loved to stare into and get lost, but one's he found he couldn't meet, his eyes dropping to his lap. Was Leo here to yell at him, to tell him to never come back?

Leo couldn't be here for anything good, could he? Trembling slightly, he braced himself for what was to come.

The relief that Leo felt upon finding his youngest mate didn't last long as he took note of the others condition. Sweat dripping from his brow, laboured breathing, his eyes downcast and he seemed to be trying to make himself as small as possible. What was going on? This wasn't the confident, joyous bubbly Mikey he knew and loved. Something was wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Calling over Don, they maneuvered Mikey between them, getting him out to the open roof so they could get a better look at him.

"His injuries have gotten worse," Don said a few moments later after having quickly examined his brother, Raph's nearby pacing coming to a halt. He came over and knelt beside his brother, where Leo and Don had placed him after exiting the shed, rubbing his hand along his brothers shell soothingly.

He hated seeing Mikey injured and hurt and he hated even more seeing him upset and distressed. The urge to beat whatever hurt him into a pulp simmered at the edge, but he tried to keep himself calm. He had been watching as Don had checked over their brother and it hadn't passed his notice that Mikey flinched every time Don moved too quickly. _Is he expecting us to hurt him? _The hothead didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like what he was seeing. Meeting Leo's eyes over Mikey's head, he found the same worry and concern there. Had they missed something in the fight with Krang?

Sharing a look with both of his younger brothers and seeing them both lost as to what to do, Leo decided he would do what he did best, take the lead. Shifting, he moved so he was in front of the orange clad turtle, so he had no where to look but at him.

"Mikey," he said softly, waiting for his youngest brother to look up and meet his eyes. It took a few moments for Mikey to raise his head and look up from the spot where his gaze had been fixed on the ground for the entirety of Don's examination, only for it to drop almost immediately, his body trembling. Reaching out, he gently cupped Mikey's jaw, tilting his head until his youngest met his eyes once more. "What's going on?"

"Be better off without me," the youngest murmured, so low Leo almost didn't catch it.

"Why would we be better off without you?" Raph asked incredulously from where he was still rubbing Mikey's shell soothingly, being mindful of the still healing crack on the shell. Leo shot him a quick looking, forcing him to bury his anger for now. Now was not the time to get angry, he could take it out on his punching bag later. By the looks of his little brother, anger was the last thing he needed. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to stay calm.

"Cause I'm stupid, I have no brain, I'm annoying, I mess up and you guys always have to rescue me," Mikey murmured, trying to hold back his tears. Why were they here? Wouldn't it just be easier to let him go? Raphs soothing rubbing on his shell felt good and all he wanted to do was lean into it, but he was afraid to make anyone mad. He didn't want his hot headed brother to think he was needy. _Annoying. Useless. Waste of space. _

Leo inhaled sharply as the words he had said in anger came back to haunt him. Donnie shook his head as his mind turned over his little brother's words. Did Mikey truly think they thought him annoying? Sure, he annoyed all of them at times, but living in such close quarters, they all got on each others nerves from time to time.

"Dove, we don't find you annoying," Donnie explained, hoping he could talk some sense into his younger brother. There was still one more thing that he had said that was bothering the purple banded turtle. "What do you mean by we're always having to rescue you?"

"With Krang," Mikey explained, the tears that he had been holding back finally escaping, rolling down his cheek in fat droplets. "I screwed up and couldn't do my job and you guys had to rescue me."

"Mikey. Michelangelo. It's not you that screwed up, it was us. We failed at distracting Krang well enough that he was able to grab you and injure you and for that I'm truly sorry. We should have apologized sooner and never let you believe that you were at fault in any way." Leo ran his thumb soothingly across Mikey's cheeks, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He had failed his youngest mate in so many more ways than he had realized.

"But."

"No buts squirt," Raph cut him off, not wanting to hear him put himself down any longer. "You're family, you're our mate, there is no way that we wouldn't want you with us. You do so much more for us than you realize. You are the glue that keeps us together." He could feel a blush tinging his cheeks. He wasn't prone to being mushy, or sentimental, but he did tend to be a lot softer with his two younger mates, and if this is what Mikey needed right now, needed to hear, then he would shove his pride aside for the moment.

"We love you Mikey and we want you at home with us, where you belong," Donnie added in, kissing Mikey's head.

"I think it's time we all went home." Leo stood up, offering his hand down to Mikey. He waited as the youngest looked up to him, indecision still warring in his eyes. He wanted this to be Mikey's choice, to believe what they were saying and to come home with them. If push came to shove however, he would simply throw Mikey over his shoulder and bring him home and do everything in his power to make the youngest believe the words they were saying.

Mikey held Leo's gaze as the eldest waited for him to take his outreached hand. He could feel Raph's presence at his back, the hot head never having stopped making comforting soothing motions on his shell. Donnie was to his right, still kneeling beside him, hand resting comfortably on his thigh. He was surrounded by his family. They had come for him. They wanted him. Maybe, just maybe the voices in his head were wrong. He reached up with his right hand, grasping Leo's hand in his, allowing the elder to pull him to his feet. He pushed the twinge of pain the movement caused in his ribs aside, focusing on the feeling of being surrounded by his brothers, his mates.

"Let's go home."

Maybe everything would be alright after all.

_You are loved. You are desired. You are wanted. Family. Heart. Brothers. Mates. Home. _


End file.
